Liberated Woman!

Liberation for this woman came at approximately 10:13 a.m. yesterday morning. It was at this time while listening to a podcast at work that I heard the words I’d been both hoping for and dreading since last December. And, as expected, those three words changed my whole day!

Without recounting the exact trigger words, I can only say that I was at last made aware that the innocent stranger I’d been crushing on all those long, mystery-fogged months has had a significant other for nearly 8 years now!

I paused in my work … I replayed the two-second segment 2 … 3 times over to be sure I’d gotten it. I had indeed gotten it! And I’d gotten her name, too … and I recognized it!

Feelings ensuing were — as always — many and complex. There was an initial moment of shock: What? … After all this time, you’re telling me you have a life? A life and someone who’s been willing to share it with you for 8 years????

Then it was happiness: Hey! She’s a sweetie. And I can certainly see how you complement each other. And she’s a lot smarter than me, too … almost as smart as you, in fact. Glad it’s her.

Lastly, I experienced a bittersweet nostalgia for an era gone by — an era of obsession-driven speculation. I had obsessed so completely, yet with so little information at hand! I knew (and still know) next to nothing about the guy. Not much to learn from tidbits gleaned from his infrequent appearances on podcasts or from Googling his name. Yet it was so much fun! See, even the meagerest findings could become a bonanza after tripping through the daydream-powered data compiler of my otherwise unoccupied mind. I did not know him. So, I embellished. I basically created a new him. … But now …

I too, am free to get myself a life!

6 ways to weird

Being quite familiar with my eccentricities, Caroline has tagged me to discuss six ways I’m weird. … Yeah, LOL … that’s what I said — Only six?

1. I don’t like chocolate.
2. I don’t have cable or a dish. Three weeks ago, I watched my first television this whole year.
3. I make noise. Constantly. Just talking and singing for the fun of it.
4. When calling companies, I like dealing with automated phone systems rather than real people I don’t know.
5. Today I recorded myself dropping a bag of trash down the trash chute just to document the sound of impact from 7 floors up.
6. I definitely believe in ghosts. And sentient species in other star systems.

Six people I want to do this:

You. That’s one. Your mama. That’s six.

Humor on Doctrine

I had to laugh when Shanti wrote this, about Christians being on the same page doctrinally, because my friend, Bob (who has a smashing new doctrine blog>, had just told me a good doctrine joke over coffee.

Seems Wesley, Luther, and Calvin all made it to heaven’s waiting room. There’s St. Peter at his desk, shuffling papers and making sure everything is in order.

“Looks like you’re all cleared,” said Pete. “You’ve been expected of course, so there shouldn’t be any trouble. Just a minute now and Jesus will call you in one at a time just to ask you a few final questions.”

“Questions,” Luther said. He had the weary look of a man already asked enough questions during his lifetime.

“Nothing to worry about. Just a brief review of your systematic theology, and a brief doctrinal questionnaire. You could do it in your sleep. … Probably have been, come to think of it.”

The three men relaxed.

Wesley was called first. He returned 10 minutes later, but all was not well. He was shaking and mumbling, “I can’t believe it. So much. There’s so much … I just can’t believe it.”

Hey, wrong door, John. Those are the stairs down. Where are you going?”

“Down. I have to go back down for now. I didn’t study enough. There’s just so much doctrine … I can’t believe all the stuff I didn’t know … “

So Calvin and Luther were left to look at each other. How could that be? We know he’s a little off, but, how could he miss a few simple questions?

Luther was next. This one took a little longer.

“Martin! Brother! Not you too … “

Luther was headed for the door to the stairs. He was clearly in a haze. “Just a few questions. I only missed a few questions … How could I have missed any?”

By now, Calvin had begun to sweat. What was this about? Trying to appear calm, he closed his eyes and did a few systematic run-throughs. Theology. Anthropology. Hamartiology. Christology. Soteriology. He defended infant baptism. He did a few side-by-side translation comparisons with the original Greek.

He was just considering adding another pedal to TULIP (because he could and because he seemed to have all this spare time), when the door opened.

“Mr. John Calvin? … “

Calvin’s interview took a very, very long time.

Finally, the door opened.

Jesus stumbled out, and headed for the stairs.

“There’s just so much. I can’t believe how much I didn’t know … “

– Goodness. LOL!

Hey there, Jo! My, You’re Looking …

After reading this article recently posted in J.K. Rowling’s online diary, I am struck by several thoughts simultaneously.

1: YAY! She updated!

2: Wow, I love her when she’s on a roll …

3: Umm … OK … Thanks Jo, for cuing us in on exactly which is your time of the month.

Really. That’s what I got from it. Beyond the goodness and virtue of what she’s saying, there’s the slightest bit of unnecessary female tude. Consider the following excerpt:

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she
said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’

‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’

What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting,
than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

So, lemme get this straight. The conversation should have gone:

“Bridget! How nice to run into you after … what … 3 years?”

“Hello, Jo, you darling! Brilliant what you did with Half-Blood Prince, and I’m sure I’d say the same of your newest little girl if I’d actually seen her myself.”

Yeah. We all say stupid things when we run into people for the first time in a while. And I, for one, am fully aware of my intelligence and humor and the like: I would happily accept an off-hand observation like, “Looks like you’ve lost some weight.” Call me shallow. Call me self-serving: I would assume I’d been complimented and leave it at that. What it lacks in tact, it makes up for in openness.

Other than that, this entry is worth a read. And it’s like MelissaTLC points out in her blog, at least we’ve got further evidence to wield against the people believing that fat = evil and/or selfish in the Harry Potter books.

Sleepover

Last night was fun. Kristin and her non-boyfriend Danny Boy spent the night over for reasons unclear to the general populous. Their ways are not our ways. Their ways a day before hitting the road to Ohio to visit a friend at music school, however, are highly entertaining. I wished they lived here. But they can’t. Because Danny couldn’t get to sleep on my couch for one thing (man, I felt so bad … ). And because, let’s face it, Kristin’s alarm on her phone is just too intense to have to deal with day after day. Oh yeah, and because my fridge growls so loudly it scared them both right out the door this morning! They even left the state!

They took forever getting here last night because they had to stop and pick up a few things. But Kristin made it up to me. Papa Murphy’s, baby! Our chicken/veggie creation with extra herb & cheese and the creamy gourmet garlic sauce on the delight crust … My favorite! And she made it with her own little hands just for us! With extra cheese … If you haven’t tried Papa Murphy’s Pizza, you absolutely must. Don’t let the fact that it’s take’n bake detour you. You just get in there and tell ‘em what you want, and they’ll set you right up, layer by heavenly layer. And get a salad as well. And some cookie dough for after (they have very good frozen cookie dough).

We ate while watching Cocoon. That was the third time I’d watched my copy since picking it out of the $5 DVD vat at Wal-Mart. Only, it was really the first, because no one had described the action to me. I love it when I have a firmly ingrained mental picture of what’s going on and what people look like in films … only to have it completely mowed down by descriptions from sighties. LOL!

While Danny Boy suffered in silence on my sofa of sleeplessness, Kristin and I were giggling our brains out in my room. And I wish I would’ve taken her offer to share the bed because — umm yeah — even with a sleeping bag and a thin film of carpeting over it, my floor is still an unyielding slab of concrete. Knowing this, and knowing Kristin would be driving most of the next day, I gave Kristin the bed.

We laughed for an hour. About nothing really. Trains five miles away, my growling fridge planning to attack Danny where he lay, the night life noises from the bars on my street. And it felt so good. I miss the good ol’ days of living on the futon in Kristin’s room. … Well … kind of.

The “Rest of the Story”

Remember how someone snatched my keys right out of my door and took off with my dog food and all that? Well, Here’s the fascinating “Rest of the Story” as recounted to dad the next day. Enjoy.

Blog Hopping

Looks like I have a new blog. Hmmmmmm. Not quite sure what to think of it yet. I moved because I wanted more options than Blogger seemed to be offering, but now, I just feel lost.

Options? Oh yeah. Word Press has options all right. But, I can’t get them to work too well. The big problem is that I have a writing blog over here as well, so any time I want to change an option for auds and ends, I am directed automatically to the options at that other blog. My account seems to default to that blog and give no options to change to this one unless I manually type the audsandends dashboard url into IE! I have spent better hours …