Yeeeeeesh

Cool, Clear Stream of Consciousness

See right there I thought I was writing a title, forgetting I’d already written ‘Yeeeeesh’ as a title. Take this gesture as it is meant: a tongue sticking out in the face of my normal lucidity while writing stuff. And am I lucid even? Ever? I can’t remember.

The following text is the text that follows this statement:

I’m going to have to start using passworded posts, so if you should ever out of curiosity want to read one, please email me and I’ll give you the key. Chances are you’ll have to either be a really good friend or a complete stranger to get the correct key though. Or maybe just someone I trust or from whom I wouldn’t mind a little advice. Then again, I kind of think the whole idea of passworded posts is a little off-putting. So maybe I won’t even go that route. Who knows? I’m a woman: I can change my mind to match my socks, whenever I please. But it is good to know that I in fact have the option to password the whole thing, so no one sees my socks when I don’t want them to.

I don’t wear socks much lately.

Sssssssssssssh. *giggle giggle*

I want to do Caroline’s survey. You know, the one with 90 questions. Shall I? Shall I right now?

No. Give it 15 minutes or so. Then I’ll change my mind and go to bed.

Stephen broke his Windows Media Player, and he’s using my Book Port. I’m stuck loading mp3’s into the Studio Recorder beta I downloaded.

Right now, I’m listening to Thursday’s general session of ACB-ness. Frank Curt Sylke is dancing hotly on the WebBraille shut-down issue. HA! He’s got quite an interesting amalgamation of dialects under-lying his New England accent. He completely drops the middle ‘t out of the word ‘titles.’ … I wonder where he grew up? Kind of a North-Brit sound — but just on that one word. Hmmmm.

Man, what a pain not to have WMP! And his compy won’t even let me think about downloading Winamp.

Frank Curt Sylke’s computer of course … not Steve’s.

I’m not drinking tonight at all. I promise.

It was almost like Christmas in July when I checked into Audible to renew my subscription now that funds are sufficient. I had 8 credits to my name! How could I not notice I’d never turned off my subscription in the first place? 8 creds! What to read … what to read! … (when I get Booker P back, that is.

I’ve been catching lots of television! Oh yes … I have. I like 24 and West Wing just as much as anticipated. I catch Glenn Beck at 6:00 every night while I eat supper. If you don’t catch Glenn … it’s entirely OK. He’s not nearly as good at the TV thing as he is at the radio. On radio … he rules the waves in Rush’s wake.

What do you guys think about Rush’s viagra thing? I don’t know much about it at all. All I do know is that I’m not surprised. To tell the truth, nothing he could do would surprise me. He’s an Addict with a capital ADD. (Wait … Glenn’s the ADD reference, really) … but anyway. Rush, we’ve always known what you are. Just … please … keep broadcasting from prison when the day comes, all right?

When it’s someone like Rush, I’m not surprised. When it’s someone like a pastor, I’m still not surprised. One thing Rush and even the most devout of the clergy have in common is their humanity. They are men. Their natural instinct is to seek pleasure and sex and widen their respective circles of influence, right? Anything beyond the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not natural … as in supernatural … as in of the grace of God. Are we any different? No. If you are a Christian, you know it’s a struggle to always put off the old man in favor of the new. Paul wouldn’t have to remind us to do it if it weren’t a struggle at times.

I’m not excusing sexual infidelity for the Church, OK? I think it’s devastating! A pastor caught in adultery should be dismissed at once. He has just ruined his ministry. The Bible is clear on that. But I also know we can go to extremes sometimes to dole out the punishment that is God’s and not ours to give. Rachael and I were discussing this last night. And I’ve just been thinking about what cows Christians can be sometimes. We really need to be on our knees more. And not in public, blithely declaring the depthless depravity of those fallen brothers and sisters we must ‘brush away with the other filth on our feet’ but in private, when there’s only God to weep with us. And I have wept over this very thing. I’ve seen how the righteous can come to ruins. Moreover, I’ve seen how their families suffer and break.

There is so much to say on this subject. We need to start saying it instead of brushing it under our white-washed rugs while the world watches with gleeful … ummmm

gleeful …

Wow. there’s a word for obvious perverted enjoyment, but I don’t have it now. Something else then …

Finally, I’m starting to get tired. What to do — what to do …

YOUR NAME

(1) The singular boring question: What is your name?

Sarah

(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?

Jonathan. In fact, Steve was supposed to be a Jonathan, so I would have certainly gotten it.

(3) Would you name a child of yours after you?

No

(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?

I always thought Meredith was a pretty name.

(5) What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?

They say Hessen for my last name. Really. This has to stop. It’s pretty much constant. In fact, all my return emails my first few weeks of work were routed to Sarah.Hessen@basesupply.com. Meanwhile, I was only receiving the ones from people who knew how to spell my last name. So if you wrote a new message and manually entered my address, it probably got to me. But if you replied to something I wrote … no … I never got it! This kerfuffle only came to people’s notice when I was found not to have been doing any of the work assigned to me via email. It wasn’t getting done because people sent it all to sarah.hessen!!!!

(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)?

No

(7) How easy is it to make you laugh?

Very.

(8) What person you know makes you laugh the most?

My sister Kristin, hands-down!

(9) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn’t?

Yes

(10) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn’t?

At times. I’m not exactly known for it though.

(11) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?

Biscuit. Gobbet. Glom. Pustule. Sprout. … many many others.

(12) What do you think is the funniest thing you’ve ever said or written?

That’s tough. People think I’m being funny when I’m dead serious.

(13) Do you ever dance to music when nobody’s watching?

Yes.

(14) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?

Unfortunately, it’s a Gospel song. It should be erased at once from all hymnals … and indeed, from Church history as a whole. It’s called “Let Him Have His Way With Thee.” SLKGSLGSIWIOVOSOO> THAT is beyond disturbing!

(15) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?

The beautiful arias in other languages.

(16) What song(s) are constantly in your head?

Gloria. Ezekiel Saw the Wheel. Star dust (Benny Goodman’s first one). Popular (from Wicked the musical. Fit (The Streets). Eleanor Rigby (the Beatles).

(17) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?

Lately it’s ‘On My Own’ from Les Mis. But only five minutes ago it was Smile (And no, not Sarah Smile).

(18)If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s)would you use?

I Will (Beatles)

(19)If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s)would you hope he or she used?

I’d be floored by just about anything. Not Easy Being Green (Kermit’s smash hit)? A gregorian chant? Well, I’d melt through that floor if he played an instrument simultaneously. Some lush jazz standard with lots of improv on the piano. A Spanish love song on guitar. But that’s daydreamin’. In real life, I nearly flatlined from sheer blis when a MaryMartha choir boy got on one knee in front of me and sang You are my Sunshine ala Boys 2 Men. He was practicing for one of his day school performances, but I so wanted to reel him in by that sharp little neck tie and do a little practicing of my own.

(20) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?

Depends on the time of day and how fat I’m feeling

(21) What’s your favorite kind of cheese?

Smoked Cheddar.

(22) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?

No. No … that would be the crackers question you completely overlooked.

(23) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?

Ignorance is blis.

(24) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?

Yes.

COMPUTERS

(25) Mac or PC?

PC. At least until Mac gets its accessibility act together.

(26) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?

I care enough not to touch them.

(27) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?

No. I’m a relatively slow typist.

(28) Do you find you’re different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?

Yes. For one thing, many people like to save their IMs for future perusal, or just to have a record. I’m more guarded on IMs.

(29) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?

No.

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

(30) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?

Oh yeah. About once every month!

(31) What do you love most about the other gender?

That they like us.

(32) What do you dislike most about the other gender?

They’re becoming less and less assertive every day. They don’t charge anywhere on a white horse anymore. The women are mowing them down and leaving lots of carnage

(33) What do you understand least about the other gender?

I get them pretty well. I had two older brothers, and I get that ‘guy humor’ thing. They’re pretty straight forward, even when they think they’re hiding something. It’s us women who are hard to get.

NUMBERS

(34) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69?

No. I’d have to be a) a guy, and b) about 12 to laugh at the 69 thing..

(35) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?

No

(36) Do you actually know your Social Security Number?

Yes, and I think it’s important that everyone know their SS number

(37) Do you actually know your IP address?

No, but I know where I can find it if I need it

(38) Do you know what an IP address is?

Yes

(39) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?

LOL … I work in e-commerce … Invoices, order numbers, account numbers, item numbers, ATRs, dimensions, and phone numbers phone numbers phone numbers to dial about them!

(40) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.?

No. It makes me smile and think of how awesome God is to keep it all so beautifully in balance as he has. And then to share some of his reasoning with us … I love that about Him.

LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT

(41) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?

No

(42) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?

Umm … Probably just like I do when someone I have no interest in dating shows interest in me. That’s just a guess.

(43) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in “blind”?

I’d like to know them first, but I wouldn’t be opposed to blinding it with someone on the recommendation of someone who knows us well.

(44) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?

I’d probably draw the line at Anna.

(45) Have you ever wished it was more “socially acceptable” for a girl to ask a guy out?

Sure.

(46) What’s your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?

LOL … How ridiculous of a question. What if I’m emotionally committed to having sex, how ’bout? Or ‘You make me emote: Let’s get it on!’ Now sex with rings on … That’s what I think of as commitment.

(47) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?

Yes.

(48) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?

Yes.

(49) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?

You. Are Odd. What, like when I marry a gay quadriplegic or something?

(50) What do you think about homosexuality?

I don’t get it. I don’t think God made people who could only find sexual pleasure in someone of the same sex. I do have some pretty good gay friends. That aside, I think there’s probably a girl somewhere a ‘gay’ guy could fall in love with, because he’s got the wiring somewhere! I’m straight, but who knows what I’d decide about my preferences if I thought we were all a product of chance and I could love who I wanted how I wanted.

POSSESSIONS

(51) What is your favorite possession?

my Book Port

(52) What physical, tangible possession do you want most?

Some new skirts.

(53) How badly do you want it?

I’ll live either way.

(54) Have you ever seen ‘The Exorcist’?

No

THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS

(55) Would you like to be cloned?

Sure.

(56) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it?

I probably will be.

(57) Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Only on Thursdays.

THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

(58) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them?

Today.

(59) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know?

John, the disciple Jesus loved above all others was convinced that Jesus was God. He knew it, and he wrote a book in the Bible about it. I feel slightly sacreligious saying this, but it’s one of my favorite books in Scripture (along with Hebrews and Isaiah, and Romans, and Job, and Genesis, I mean), because John was Jesus’ top peep. Who better to know how it really went down? It starts out like this. Please read the whole thing sometime and tell me what you think.

HAVE YOU EVER

(60) Drank Alcohol:

Yip

(61) Gotten Drunk:

Nope. Never will, either. And from the amount of straight brandy I consumed without feeling the effects, I think it would take quite a lot to get me there anyway. Not that I’ll try.

(62) Had Sex:

Somehow, I get the feeling this whole survey was leading up to this question. But, no. I haven’t.

(63) Dyed Your Hair:

I sprayed it orange once for a spirit week function at college.

(64) Kissed the Same Sex:

My sisters. Little air/cheek kisses to girlfriends.

(65) Thought about Killing yourself:

No

(66)Hated Yourself:

Nope.

(68) Liked someone way older than you:

Yes. Nearly twice my age at 18. Dated him too.

(69) Liked someone way younger than you:

Not way way younger, but yes. Dated him too.

(70) Broken a Bone:

Yes. My brother would lay on his back on the livingroom floor and have me sit on his feet so he could launch me across the room. Once I landed on my right hand between the piano bench and the piano. We found out the next day that I’d broken my wrist.

(71)Had Surgery:

Yes.

(72) Talked to Strangers:

Isn’t everyone a stranger till you get to know them?

(73) Ran Away From Home:

No. Well … I kind of did when I packed up and flew the coop after college.

(74)Did the opposite your parents told you to do/not to do:

Of course.

(75)Sang in public:

yes

(76) Worn a Dress:

I’m most comfortable in a skirt.

(77) Worn a Tie:

No

(78) Worn a Suit:

A swim suit maybe …

(79) Gotten in to a physical fight:

yes, a couple of times I think

(80) Hurt someone emotionally:

MMMM-hmmm.

(81) Hurt someone physically:

Not seriously

(82) Made someone cry:

Oh come on. Of course!

(83) Said you loved someone:

Yes. Man, we’re really scraping the barrel, aren’t we?

(84)Said you hated someone:

Maybe when I was younger.

(85) Talked to a stuffed animal:

I don’t remember

(86) Talked to yourself:

Yes. Some of the most stimulating conversations I’ve ever had were among me, myself, and I.

(87) Danced in public:

Of course.

(88)Done pole dancing:

Haven’t you learned anything about me? Good glory

(89)Done Drugs:

No.

(90)Had any piercings in ears or weird places:

ears

(91)Interesting Facts About You:

I think if you’re a regular reader of my entries you probably all ready know quite a bit.