This is a Week to be Remembered by All

It’s the week I hand my old Braille Note Classic over to Roger, who will take it swiftly, yet gently from my sight forever. And then …

And then commences my wait for a NEW BrailleNote mPower!! Let the waiting begin!

Odd Survey

This one’s fun:

Grab the book nearest you – turn to page 18 and read line 4:
My Book Port was closest, so I grabbed it and went to line 4 of whatever book it landed me in. It reads: “New York had actually lost ground.” – The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America. A fascinating, anecdotal–but well-researched and excellently-written–account of events at the Chicago World’s Fair centering on the two most influential men (one for the good, and one for … well … for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiiiiiiil). Honestly, I can barely put it down. (Oh, and this title is available through Book Share as well.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. You’re touching:
Alas, naught but air. But if we swivel 30 or so degrees to port … Hmm. A brush with a hair tie on the handle, some bracelets, and a blouse on top of a Windows XP box. Hmmmm.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Kyle XY. I thought it was the series finale, but that’s next Monday night. YAY!

Without looking, guess what time it is:
8:01 p.m.

Now look at the clock:
7:48.

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The fridge hum, Glen Beck on TV, and Some guy saying “Maggie, Maggie, Maggie” far off outside.

When did you last step outside?
When I Got off the 18 in the Pick’n Save parking lot and walked the rest of the way home from work.

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Shanti’s blog.

What are you wearing?
Dress pants and my favorite … well … it’s HOT here, OK? and our last electric bill was $110 from central airing this giant apartment, so I don’t want to turn it on if I can help it. — So why am I wearing dress pants if I’m trying to cool off?
Hmmm. Never thought of that.

Did you dream last night?
Probably, but I don’t remember it.

When did you last laugh?
Well, reading Rachael’s survey answers … But before that, I laughed at Steve who told Laurie to talk louder on the phone because he was blind. Then he said ‘Ah, honey, that was a joke,’ promptly followed by a ‘Huh?’

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Not much. I’ll tackle that when it comes time to actually decorate in here. Or, you know, four months later.

Seen anything weird lately?
Because I’m not actually seeing, but I have sight memory, my brain is constantly manufacturing probable images to make my eyes feel useful. If I think about seeing something when my eyes are closed, however, it’s always the same thing: uneven tiers of red peaks and lines glowing against a black background. They always move from left to right at the same plodding speed — sometimes it looks kind of like an endless parade of men of varied heights striding past in their black tuxes with red trim.
… But anything strange???? … Sorry, no. That’s the closest I come.

What is the last film you saw?
In the theater, it was “Click” with Adam Sandler. Very funny.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I would send a bunch to Rachael’s parents to help them with their work in India. Then I’d send to some other missionaries I know and love in China, and to Bwana Daub in Africa. And then …
Aaaaah … and THEN!
Meet Kajsa, the Swedish fashion student at UW Madison who became my personal shopper the very first week the fortune befell me. — Or was it the week after? — No … no, that was the week of the butler, Chutney’s personal trainer, and Xander, my narrator (who reads me to sleep with his luscious BBC accent [which is a pretty good show, because he grew up saying things like "An' 'ere's me dear old dad: Bo Peep on the rory third night in a row cuz 'e's been drinkin.'"])
But where was I? Oh yes — Kajsa is the one cutting the strap off last week’s Louis Vuitton hand bag. She’s making a portable water dish for Chutney. We’ll need a travel bowl for Chutney tomorrow: we’re hopping around to my weekend places for the photo ops while we plant the homing beacons for my auto-piloted plane. It’s been quite an ordeal, actually. I don’t even want to fly my plane: my hair’s a pain after the headset, and I always chip my nails on the wheel thingy. Oh well, It gets me home, I suppose.
So where’s home? MMMMMM … My loft flat in Boston and my get-away house in Scotland. My little Holland resort is kind of like home, only it’s hit’n miss with the chefs because they don’t know English or Braille. But those places are just for Thursdays, ducky, and for weekends I don’t feel up to yachting the Med. You’d most often find me and Xander burrowed deep in the bowels of my North Chicago estate, where I’ve just completed installation of my state-of-the-art digital audio cocoon with lots of analogue knobs and sliders, and the latest ProTools (which magicly works now for blind users on a PC platform [basically because, being so filthy gleaming rich I have hired a team of guys who know a guy who figured that one out long ago.]) And libraries of libraries of sounds and virtual instruments, and … well, it’s not very kind to brag now, is it?

Tell me something about you that I don’t know:
I’ve never understood how some people can complain about not knowing what to do with their free time. I could read all day and be perfectly happy.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Make sure everyone goes to bed spiritually and physically full.

Do you like to dance?
MMMMMMMMMMM-Hmmmmmmmm.

George W. Bush:
A man with half the spine I thought he had who makes me want to walk straight through rotted out dry wall into an active lava flow.

Imagine your first child is a girl..what do you call her?
Something Welsh or Swedish probably. I’ll find something not too off the wall.

Imagine your first child is a boy..what do you call him?
Depends on the dynamics with the husband, you know? Do we want a JR. or a name after a grandpa perhaps?

Would you ever consider living abroad?
Oh definitely!

What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
“Jacob … That trickster … Always switching the sign! Yes, we are actually OPEN today …”

Odd day

I feel like writing. How’d you like to read about my day?

It started at 10 minutes after 7 when my cab arrived. The mere fact that a Milwaukee cab arrived so smack-dab on time is something to write about in itself. Milwaukee cabs, you see, are notorious for their tardiness when it comes to picking up people with service animals. And, yes, you are required to specify that they will be transporting a dog, because they’ve also been known to spot the would-be passenger, slow down, notice the dog, and then peel right out of there like a banana waking up in a blender. I kid you not. They’ve seen me with Chutney and left more than once.

Partway through the morning I went to the front desk to be the receptionist because our official one has gone and broken his ankle or something, and us e-commercers are splitting up time covering for him. This is fine. There’s invoicing to do during the downtimes up there. So I did that. And people came in and out and I listened in on the chatter from the offices down the hall. Some guy waiting for his appointment with one of our contractors got kind of flirty, and I tried to hit the right balance of perky/professional and felt a lot like Pam from The Office.

I’m addicted to The Office. I hear the British one’s even better … I think I’ll be checking Net Flics for that soon!

Then, an oddness occurred; a blatant oddness I’d rather have avoided.

Someone stopped in for an appointment with Chuck, the company president.

So far, so good. Someone very business-sounding outside my little reception window wants Chuck. I will call said Chuck post haste.

Ring-ring-ring-[Come on, Chucky, pick it up. There's someone named Ben who's probably actually kind of important and I don't want to look like I can't find you]-ring-ring-ring.

“I’ll just ring through somewhere else,” I tell Ben.

“Tell him it’s Ben. He is expecting me.”

Meanwhile, I’m thinking about what I just said and what a dits I am as I dial a completely unrelated extension. What am I thinking? Ring through? … What BS. How does one ‘ring through’ exactly? Sounds painful. And why was I calling his son now — what would I say when he picked up? Ummm, hey there, Seej! Where’s your daddy?”

So I hung up and decided to page Chuck instead.

Just as I heard the echoing tone announcing to the whole of the plant, the offices, the warehouse, God and everybody that I was about to page someone, it hit me. I’ve heard and conducted many a-page in my brief stay here, but never have I heard anyone page Mr. Chuck himself.

Suddenly, that little fact mattered very much. Simple deduction, my dear Watson. Perhaps the reason we’ve never heard a Chuck page in all our lives is because it simply isn’t done. Perhaps you don’t just blare out orders to the Pres with the plant, the offices, the warehouse, God and everybody listening on.

So I hung up and dialed Steve instead.

‘Yeah?’

[very quietly and turned casually away from His Ben-ness] ‘Yeah. Do we page Chuck?’

What do you mean?’

‘I mean I’ve never heard anyone page Chuck before, and there’s someone to see him, but I don’t know if it’s done.’

‘I’ll page Chuck. Then if something bad happens, I’ll take the wrap for you.’

I wasn’t sure what to think of this, but I let him go to town, and I went on dialing Chuck’s number unsure what else to do.

Archie came by presently to plop another stack of invoicing down in front of me. ‘How ya doin’ here?’

I’m fine. There’s someone here for Chuck.’

‘You called Chuck?’

‘Yes. He’s not there.’

‘Did you page him?’

[blushing] ‘No … But, Steve is.’

‘What? Why Steve?’

‘… Well, I wasn’t sure if … I’d never heard anyone page Chuck before …’

At this point, Arch begins to laugh at me. ‘So you called Steve and told him to do it instead?’

[blushing, blushing, feeling stupid stupid stupid ...

And Chuck comes. Arch stops him in front of me and God and Ben and everybody and tells him that I didn’t tell him Ben was here because I didn’t think Chuck ever got paged! And they both break out laughing endlessly.

I buzz Ben in and they all greet him like old beer buddies. At this point, I am nearly kicking myself thinking, Duh, Sas. Of course you can page Chuck. He’s not the king of Hajmanistan after all. Why would a guy who calls himself Chuck not be pageable? And he hangs out with just plain Ben! What. Were. You. Thinking?

On his way by the desk, Chuck says, ‘Sarah, page Rick, would you? Have him come to my office.’

So, barely thinking, I pick up the phone and hear the cavernous echos over the plant as someone really quite blond in the head says, ‘Rick Weingold, please go to Chuck’s office. Rick Weingold, go to Chuck’s … ah … his office.’

To top it all off, Arch moves to my shoulder and says, ‘The correct terminology is, ‘Please report to Chuck’s office … either that or, Yo, Rick! You get your sorry a** over to Chuck’s office like yesterday or else.’

And that does it for the scribe-worthy content of my day.

Aaaaaaand they’re off! …

This is the latest line from Steve to have me completely losing it at work. Thing is, the break bell in the plant next door (also piped quite loudly through the cafeteria area, unfortunately) sounds exactly like the gate release bell at horse races.

Work is going quite well, I must say. I’m learning the ropes. There’re always more ropes to learn when you think you might be getting it, but they are much fewer and farther between. They take me by surprise now, to be honest.

“Please hold, Sergeant: I’ll ask about that right now. …”

“Ah … Jesse?…”

“Yeah, babe…”

Whaddya do if the cust received an item back in May, stored it away for future use, and is only now claiming that it might possibly have been damaged because the box was wet when he received it — and it’s a cartridge — and Office Max doesn’t take cartridges back, do they?”

“Yes, they do.”

“Oh good. So I can get an ATR (authorized to return) on this and…”

“Ummmm… Are you still working on #IB145399?”

“Yes.”

*Sigh* “That ink cart is from United Stationers … not Office Max … in which case … I’m not sure…”

Sigh is right.

In good news, my boss’s boss took me out to lunch on Friday. (Take a Lowly E-Commerce Peep to Lunch Day, I guess). But it was really nice. He took me to P.F. Chang’s because I’d never been there and I adore Chinese! He then proceeded to order two appetizers (lettuce wraps and crab Rangoon) because I couldn’t decide. I had the ginger chicken with broccoli (had to include all that because — ahhhemmm — some of you — would have asked because you’re *cough*freakishly-obsessed-with-what-people-are-eating-at-any-given-moment*cough* !

Anyhoo. He predictably asked all the “How are you liking it? — How do you feel about frustrated customers? — Where do you see yourself in the future with the company?”-type questions: the answers to which, he was very understanding and supportive of. He didn’t even flinch when I said I’d like to travel in the future and do sales. (I think he was hoping I’d mention sales and marketing, actually, because he jumped immediately into his plans for the future of our department — which included selling!! And commissions!! And he did say “There’s plenty of travel involved in that line” … YAY

I always hesitate when asked things like that, because the president of the company said a few promising things when interviewing me for the job that turned out to be more sparkle than substance when I took the position. What if ‘e-commerce would be a temporary position’ proved to be another fake out? But with this guy, I did feel free to go ahead and have out with the insinuation that although I would be content in customer service for a couple of years, I didn’t want to retire having done nothing but sort out and smooth over customer/supplier relations my whole career. And he wasn’t at all surprised. So, I feel quite good!

The weekend was crazed! My parents came to celebrate Steve and Laurie’s birthdays (two days apart, they are). We went to Ling’s (yyyyum … More Chinese!). Ling’s will be the site of the rehearsal dinner as well, and we needed to approve the menu.

Laurie’s maid of honor and I decided to go with Laurie’s tailor for our final gown alterations, so we went as a group Saturday morning. I’m evidently a bit thinner than I was when buying the dress (I’m in 8 territory now, and loving the view!), so enough about my pizza and Chinese already! I get out. I walk. I play with Chutney, and I run all the way to the vending machines at work at least twice a day. Back up off this. And that’s that.

And then, there’s Laurie! … Can’t say too much more than that (because STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE is reading this! LOL) — All he’s allowed to know is that Laurie’s get-up has more buttons than the old lady in the cardigan behind the switchboard at Grand Central Station …

Speaking of buttons … I have a new obsession. A new and blazing desire — and it’s all Laurie’s fault. But really, it’s Steve’s, because he took Laurie to Goldi to begin with. (I was along for the ride) Goldi is a high-end discount boutique on Oakland Ave. I guess they’re kind of known for three things: women’s clothing, cool bling for your house, and … and SHOES!!

And there’s this line of cass heels called Indigo from Clark’s of England! SO. FRIGGIN.’ KYUUUUUUTE! The ones we liked (and Steve was going to get her for her birthday) are called Mademoiselle. They were soft leather with an eligant heel and a double row of velvet stitching. They had tread, I tell you, and a darling little button on the front. These babies were all that was fashionable in fashion, plus all that is preferred in comfort. But they didn’t have her size. They had mine … and they were $74 … and I was THIS close to utter happiness … and then I remembered who I was and what was and was not in the bank. *sigh* But they were shoes! And they were, and still are, absolutely perfect.

I love my dad.

Dad, at dinner: “Did you know anyone when you went to that other church?”

Sas: “Yeah.”

Dad: “Like who?”

Sas: “Like Cindy Weihearst, and this guy, Dustin …”

Dad (suddenly intense): “Dustin, huh? Who’s Dustin?”

Sas: “Some guy from Maranatha. He’s really cool.”

Dad: “Oooooooh. How old is he?”

Sas: “My age … but Dad … “

Dad: “There ya go.”

Sas: “Dad. He was kicked out of Maranatha for @&@*$$&#.”

Dad: “Your age? Sarah, you should get to know this guy.”

Sas “Did you not just hear … “

Dad: “You know, I was a rebel, too, in college … Only I left of my own ‘free will’ – Pardon the pun.”

No Apologies – Just Confusion

Hello there.

Why apologize for the way I am? I won’t do it. You’ll just have to live with my being the kind of person who doesn’t update her blog regularly. That’s who I am, I guess. Although I do feel guilty, I won’t apologize. I could make up an excuse, but the truth is, I just didn’t feel like writing: ya savvy? LOL So that’s weird, and a relatively new phenomenon (about a year old, actually). I’m not comfortable with not liking to write. That used to be me: Sarah, the would-be may-be, someday, published novel writer who just writes in her blog in the mean time because she enjoys it so much. Well, that isn’t me anymore. I don’t sit in a little cafe with my Braille Note writing about Charlotte, I don’t troll the online writing forums for tips and plot-thinners, I can’t even make myself blog anymore, and most of all, I don’t know why. I’m still quite surprised, even after a year of it. And I feel it’s a little unfair, because when you’ve got something that purposeful and consuming, and gradually that something goes, the usual protocol is for something else — something just as enjoyable and preferably more constructive to slide obligingly into the void left by your former vice. Yeah … that’s my understanding anyway. … Something else should be sliding in … right about now, to give my creativity some purpose.

…

…

That’s what they tell me anyway … … …

…

Ah-hhem … Anytime now …

…

Right about now … … … ah … Would be good …

Yeeeeeesh

Cool, Clear Stream of Consciousness

See right there I thought I was writing a title, forgetting I’d already written ‘Yeeeeesh’ as a title. Take this gesture as it is meant: a tongue sticking out in the face of my normal lucidity while writing stuff. And am I lucid even? Ever? I can’t remember.

The following text is the text that follows this statement:

I’m going to have to start using passworded posts, so if you should ever out of curiosity want to read one, please email me and I’ll give you the key. Chances are you’ll have to either be a really good friend or a complete stranger to get the correct key though. Or maybe just someone I trust or from whom I wouldn’t mind a little advice. Then again, I kind of think the whole idea of passworded posts is a little off-putting. So maybe I won’t even go that route. Who knows? I’m a woman: I can change my mind to match my socks, whenever I please. But it is good to know that I in fact have the option to password the whole thing, so no one sees my socks when I don’t want them to.

I don’t wear socks much lately.

Sssssssssssssh. *giggle giggle*

I want to do Caroline’s survey. You know, the one with 90 questions. Shall I? Shall I right now?

No. Give it 15 minutes or so. Then I’ll change my mind and go to bed.

Stephen broke his Windows Media Player, and he’s using my Book Port. I’m stuck loading mp3’s into the Studio Recorder beta I downloaded.

Right now, I’m listening to Thursday’s general session of ACB-ness. Frank Curt Sylke is dancing hotly on the WebBraille shut-down issue. HA! He’s got quite an interesting amalgamation of dialects under-lying his New England accent. He completely drops the middle ‘t out of the word ‘titles.’ … I wonder where he grew up? Kind of a North-Brit sound — but just on that one word. Hmmmm.

Man, what a pain not to have WMP! And his compy won’t even let me think about downloading Winamp.

Frank Curt Sylke’s computer of course … not Steve’s.

I’m not drinking tonight at all. I promise.

It was almost like Christmas in July when I checked into Audible to renew my subscription now that funds are sufficient. I had 8 credits to my name! How could I not notice I’d never turned off my subscription in the first place? 8 creds! What to read … what to read! … (when I get Booker P back, that is.

I’ve been catching lots of television! Oh yes … I have. I like 24 and West Wing just as much as anticipated. I catch Glenn Beck at 6:00 every night while I eat supper. If you don’t catch Glenn … it’s entirely OK. He’s not nearly as good at the TV thing as he is at the radio. On radio … he rules the waves in Rush’s wake.

What do you guys think about Rush’s viagra thing? I don’t know much about it at all. All I do know is that I’m not surprised. To tell the truth, nothing he could do would surprise me. He’s an Addict with a capital ADD. (Wait … Glenn’s the ADD reference, really) … but anyway. Rush, we’ve always known what you are. Just … please … keep broadcasting from prison when the day comes, all right?

When it’s someone like Rush, I’m not surprised. When it’s someone like a pastor, I’m still not surprised. One thing Rush and even the most devout of the clergy have in common is their humanity. They are men. Their natural instinct is to seek pleasure and sex and widen their respective circles of influence, right? Anything beyond the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not natural … as in supernatural … as in of the grace of God. Are we any different? No. If you are a Christian, you know it’s a struggle to always put off the old man in favor of the new. Paul wouldn’t have to remind us to do it if it weren’t a struggle at times.

I’m not excusing sexual infidelity for the Church, OK? I think it’s devastating! A pastor caught in adultery should be dismissed at once. He has just ruined his ministry. The Bible is clear on that. But I also know we can go to extremes sometimes to dole out the punishment that is God’s and not ours to give. Rachael and I were discussing this last night. And I’ve just been thinking about what cows Christians can be sometimes. We really need to be on our knees more. And not in public, blithely declaring the depthless depravity of those fallen brothers and sisters we must ‘brush away with the other filth on our feet’ but in private, when there’s only God to weep with us. And I have wept over this very thing. I’ve seen how the righteous can come to ruins. Moreover, I’ve seen how their families suffer and break.

There is so much to say on this subject. We need to start saying it instead of brushing it under our white-washed rugs while the world watches with gleeful … ummmm

gleeful …

Wow. there’s a word for obvious perverted enjoyment, but I don’t have it now. Something else then …

Finally, I’m starting to get tired. What to do — what to do …

YOUR NAME

(1) The singular boring question: What is your name?

Sarah

(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?

Jonathan. In fact, Steve was supposed to be a Jonathan, so I would have certainly gotten it.

(3) Would you name a child of yours after you?

No

(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?

I always thought Meredith was a pretty name.

(5) What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?

They say Hessen for my last name. Really. This has to stop. It’s pretty much constant. In fact, all my return emails my first few weeks of work were routed to Sarah.Hessen@basesupply.com. Meanwhile, I was only receiving the ones from people who knew how to spell my last name. So if you wrote a new message and manually entered my address, it probably got to me. But if you replied to something I wrote … no … I never got it! This kerfuffle only came to people’s notice when I was found not to have been doing any of the work assigned to me via email. It wasn’t getting done because people sent it all to sarah.hessen!!!!

(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)?

No

(7) How easy is it to make you laugh?

Very.

(8) What person you know makes you laugh the most?

My sister Kristin, hands-down!

(9) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn’t?

Yes

(10) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn’t?

At times. I’m not exactly known for it though.

(11) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?

Biscuit. Gobbet. Glom. Pustule. Sprout. … many many others.

(12) What do you think is the funniest thing you’ve ever said or written?

That’s tough. People think I’m being funny when I’m dead serious.

(13) Do you ever dance to music when nobody’s watching?

Yes.

(14) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?

Unfortunately, it’s a Gospel song. It should be erased at once from all hymnals … and indeed, from Church history as a whole. It’s called “Let Him Have His Way With Thee.” SLKGSLGSIWIOVOSOO> THAT is beyond disturbing!

(15) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?

The beautiful arias in other languages.

(16) What song(s) are constantly in your head?

Gloria. Ezekiel Saw the Wheel. Star dust (Benny Goodman’s first one). Popular (from Wicked the musical. Fit (The Streets). Eleanor Rigby (the Beatles).

(17) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?

Lately it’s ‘On My Own’ from Les Mis. But only five minutes ago it was Smile (And no, not Sarah Smile).

(18)If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s)would you use?

I Will (Beatles)

(19)If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s)would you hope he or she used?

I’d be floored by just about anything. Not Easy Being Green (Kermit’s smash hit)? A gregorian chant? Well, I’d melt through that floor if he played an instrument simultaneously. Some lush jazz standard with lots of improv on the piano. A Spanish love song on guitar. But that’s daydreamin’. In real life, I nearly flatlined from sheer blis when a MaryMartha choir boy got on one knee in front of me and sang You are my Sunshine ala Boys 2 Men. He was practicing for one of his day school performances, but I so wanted to reel him in by that sharp little neck tie and do a little practicing of my own.

(20) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?

Depends on the time of day and how fat I’m feeling

(21) What’s your favorite kind of cheese?

Smoked Cheddar.

(22) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?

No. No … that would be the crackers question you completely overlooked.

(23) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?

Ignorance is blis.

(24) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?

Yes.

COMPUTERS

(25) Mac or PC?

PC. At least until Mac gets its accessibility act together.

(26) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?

I care enough not to touch them.

(27) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?

No. I’m a relatively slow typist.

(28) Do you find you’re different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?

Yes. For one thing, many people like to save their IMs for future perusal, or just to have a record. I’m more guarded on IMs.

(29) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?

No.

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

(30) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?

Oh yeah. About once every month!

(31) What do you love most about the other gender?

That they like us.

(32) What do you dislike most about the other gender?

They’re becoming less and less assertive every day. They don’t charge anywhere on a white horse anymore. The women are mowing them down and leaving lots of carnage

(33) What do you understand least about the other gender?

I get them pretty well. I had two older brothers, and I get that ‘guy humor’ thing. They’re pretty straight forward, even when they think they’re hiding something. It’s us women who are hard to get.

NUMBERS

(34) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69?

No. I’d have to be a) a guy, and b) about 12 to laugh at the 69 thing..

(35) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?

No

(36) Do you actually know your Social Security Number?

Yes, and I think it’s important that everyone know their SS number

(37) Do you actually know your IP address?

No, but I know where I can find it if I need it

(38) Do you know what an IP address is?

Yes

(39) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?

LOL … I work in e-commerce … Invoices, order numbers, account numbers, item numbers, ATRs, dimensions, and phone numbers phone numbers phone numbers to dial about them!

(40) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.?

No. It makes me smile and think of how awesome God is to keep it all so beautifully in balance as he has. And then to share some of his reasoning with us … I love that about Him.

LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT

(41) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?

No

(42) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?

Umm … Probably just like I do when someone I have no interest in dating shows interest in me. That’s just a guess.

(43) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in “blind”?

I’d like to know them first, but I wouldn’t be opposed to blinding it with someone on the recommendation of someone who knows us well.

(44) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?

I’d probably draw the line at Anna.

(45) Have you ever wished it was more “socially acceptable” for a girl to ask a guy out?

Sure.

(46) What’s your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?

LOL … How ridiculous of a question. What if I’m emotionally committed to having sex, how ’bout? Or ‘You make me emote: Let’s get it on!’ Now sex with rings on … That’s what I think of as commitment.

(47) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?

Yes.

(48) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?

Yes.

(49) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?

You. Are Odd. What, like when I marry a gay quadriplegic or something?

(50) What do you think about homosexuality?

I don’t get it. I don’t think God made people who could only find sexual pleasure in someone of the same sex. I do have some pretty good gay friends. That aside, I think there’s probably a girl somewhere a ‘gay’ guy could fall in love with, because he’s got the wiring somewhere! I’m straight, but who knows what I’d decide about my preferences if I thought we were all a product of chance and I could love who I wanted how I wanted.

POSSESSIONS

(51) What is your favorite possession?

my Book Port

(52) What physical, tangible possession do you want most?

Some new skirts.

(53) How badly do you want it?

I’ll live either way.

(54) Have you ever seen ‘The Exorcist’?

No

THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS

(55) Would you like to be cloned?

Sure.

(56) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it?

I probably will be.

(57) Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Only on Thursdays.

THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

(58) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them?

Today.

(59) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know?

John, the disciple Jesus loved above all others was convinced that Jesus was God. He knew it, and he wrote a book in the Bible about it. I feel slightly sacreligious saying this, but it’s one of my favorite books in Scripture (along with Hebrews and Isaiah, and Romans, and Job, and Genesis, I mean), because John was Jesus’ top peep. Who better to know how it really went down? It starts out like this. Please read the whole thing sometime and tell me what you think.

HAVE YOU EVER

(60) Drank Alcohol:

Yip

(61) Gotten Drunk:

Nope. Never will, either. And from the amount of straight brandy I consumed without feeling the effects, I think it would take quite a lot to get me there anyway. Not that I’ll try.

(62) Had Sex:

Somehow, I get the feeling this whole survey was leading up to this question. But, no. I haven’t.

(63) Dyed Your Hair:

I sprayed it orange once for a spirit week function at college.

(64) Kissed the Same Sex:

My sisters. Little air/cheek kisses to girlfriends.

(65) Thought about Killing yourself:

No

(66)Hated Yourself:

Nope.

(68) Liked someone way older than you:

Yes. Nearly twice my age at 18. Dated him too.

(69) Liked someone way younger than you:

Not way way younger, but yes. Dated him too.

(70) Broken a Bone:

Yes. My brother would lay on his back on the livingroom floor and have me sit on his feet so he could launch me across the room. Once I landed on my right hand between the piano bench and the piano. We found out the next day that I’d broken my wrist.

(71)Had Surgery:

Yes.

(72) Talked to Strangers:

Isn’t everyone a stranger till you get to know them?

(73) Ran Away From Home:

No. Well … I kind of did when I packed up and flew the coop after college.

(74)Did the opposite your parents told you to do/not to do:

Of course.

(75)Sang in public:

yes

(76) Worn a Dress:

I’m most comfortable in a skirt.

(77) Worn a Tie:

No

(78) Worn a Suit:

A swim suit maybe …

(79) Gotten in to a physical fight:

yes, a couple of times I think

(80) Hurt someone emotionally:

MMMM-hmmm.

(81) Hurt someone physically:

Not seriously

(82) Made someone cry:

Oh come on. Of course!

(83) Said you loved someone:

Yes. Man, we’re really scraping the barrel, aren’t we?

(84)Said you hated someone:

Maybe when I was younger.

(85) Talked to a stuffed animal:

I don’t remember

(86) Talked to yourself:

Yes. Some of the most stimulating conversations I’ve ever had were among me, myself, and I.

(87) Danced in public:

Of course.

(88)Done pole dancing:

Haven’t you learned anything about me? Good glory

(89)Done Drugs:

No.

(90)Had any piercings in ears or weird places:

ears

(91)Interesting Facts About You:

I think if you’re a regular reader of my entries you probably all ready know quite a bit.

“Science” Takes on Creationism

Perhaps you saw the headline popping up on various world news outlets this weekend about Leeds University’s plans to include mandatory anti-Creationism seminars for students reading biological sciences. Well, there’s of course a lot of noise about it from people. Very unhappy people. Only the fuss isn’t erupting from the Christian quarters as one might think: No, the people up in arms this time are those all-too-prevalent denizens of Academe who consider the idea of an intelligent designer to be so contrary to scientific principles that they won’t even stand for it to be discussed or even soundly trounced in a one-sided debate for the entertainment of impressionable young minds. To them, the mere suggestion that perhaps science is interpretting evidence the wrong way on a few issues is such a threat, that they can’t even afford to give it the time it would take them to laugh it down in a formal educational setting. Someone potty might misunderstand and actually pick up a book on it, perhaps?

So instead of a more accurate headline like: “U.K. University Reveals Blatant Intolerance for Discussion of Long-Held Religious Views,” or “NEWS FLASH GOD! 150 Years of Digging in the Dirt Says You Never Existed,” we are fed things like, “Scientists Worldwide Unify Against Creationism,” and “Survival of the Fittest Origin Theory Plays out at Uni.”

Aaaah, but it’s not just in the halls of higher learning that Creationism is being attacked with no option for Christian defense: it’s daily in our schools, and it appears to be on the way toward legislation worldwide. Read for yourself these opening lines from an article in the June 22nd edition of the U.K.’s Independent Online:

“The world’s scientific community united yesterday to launch one of the strongest attacks yet on creationism, warning that the origins of life were being
“concealed, denied or confused”.

The national science academies of 67 countries warned parents and teachers to ensure that they did not undermine the teaching of evolution or allow children
to be taught that the world was created in six days.”

Read that again, will you? Is that supposed to be a threat? Of course it is! They’re telling parents of all faiths what they can and cannot teach their children regarding the origin of the universe (an event which none of us were around to observe in the first place!!). Wow. And this is all of SCIENCE coming against us full-tilt?! Do you feel threatened yet?

“The aim of all investigations of the external world should be to discover the rational order and harmony which has been imposed upon it by God and which
He revealed to us in the language of mathematics.” – Morris Kline, Mathematics: The Loss of Certainty (New York: Oxford University Press, 1980), p. 31.

“This most beautiful system of sun, planets, and comets could only proceed from the counsel and dominion of an intelligent and powerful Being. This Being
governs all things, not as the soul of the world, but as Lord over all, and on account of His dominion He is wont to be called Lord God, Universal Ruler.” – Sir Isaac Newton (physicist and mathematician): Mathematica Principia, 1686.

“the phenomena of nature, whether mechanical, chemical, or vital, consist almost entirely in a continual conversion . . . into one another. Thus it is that
order is maintained in the universe- nothing is deranged, nothing ever lost, but the entire machinery, complicated as it is, works smoothly and harmoniously
. . . the whole being governed by the sovereign will of God.” – James Joule (physicist)

“Certainty! Joy! Peace!
I forget the world and everything but God! . . .
I submit myself absolutely to Jesus Christ my Redeemer” – Blaise Pascal (mathematician)

“The more I study nature, the more I stand amazed at the work of the Creator.” – Louis Pasteur (microbiologist)

“I believe, with the Westminster Divines and their predecessors ad Infinitum, that ‘Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him for ever’” – James Clerk Maxwell (physicist)

“When with bold telescopes I survey the old and newly discovered stars and planets Y when with excellent microscopes I discern Y the inimitable subtlety
of nature’s curious workmanship; and when, in a word, by the help of anatomical knives, and the light of chemical furnaces, I study the book of nature
Y I find myself oftentimes reduced to exclaim with the Psalmist, How manifold are Thy works, O Lord! in wisdom hast Thou made them all!” – Robert Boyle (Chemist, physicist, etc.)

“In the absence of any other proof, the thumb alone would convince me of God’s existence.” – Sir Isaac Newton: (Quoted in Des MacHale, Wisdom [London, 2002].)

“Jesus Christ is end of all, and the centre to which all tends. Whoever knows Him knows the reason of everything.” – Blaise Pascal

“I give you thanks, Creator and God, that you have given me this joy in thy creation, and I rejoice in the works of your hands. See I have now completed
the work to which I was called. In it I have used all the talents you have lent to my spirit.” – Johannes Kepler (astronomer)

Once, Twice, Eighty-Four Times a Lady

Caroline had another good meme. I couldn’t resist. Who doesn’t want to know how much of a ‘lady’ she is?

You Are 84% Lady

No doubt about it, you are a lady with impeccable etiquette You know how to put others at ease, even if their manners aren’t the greatest.

Are You A Lady?

Strum your pizza and eat your guitar

And God said, Let there be pizza! … I mean … he must have. Because it’s so good!

What was that pizza we had last night, Betty? It was our favorite (ham and pineapple), but I can’t remember the cool name of the place. I’ve been having some of the best pizza ever here in Milwaukee.

Then, at work yesterday, some of us office peeps ordered delivery from Schlotzky’s, that amazing deli near my place. Check out the menu! I had one of their yummy 8” pizzas. Thai chicken! And I normally hate chicken on pizza. But, what do you do when presented with ‘Grilled chicken breast, mozzarella cheese, basil pesto, Thai peanut sauce, julienne carrots, cilantro and green onions on our seasoned Sourdough crust.’? That’s right, you order it. And you eat it in 3 bites!

So yeah, I was over at Betty’s last night. She’s one of the ladies from baby church, and she’s quickly becoming one of my dearest friends. It’s a little scary how much we have in common. She’s gotta talk on my podcast sometime. Then you’ll understand. We ate and talked and went to the basement for a gospel/hymn sing. She’s teaching me some worship songs (my worship repertoire is pathetically non-encompassing. ) And she’s letting me borrow her guitar, people. I’m gonna learn how to play the guitar! Maybe even with my eyes shut! We’ll see. … … Well, I won’t .. but, some of you already do, so …

Speaking of guitars, have yourself some really inspiring Blind Cool Tech audio of a guitar being run over by a car.

Well, I guess I’d better get in the kitchen. That’s right, I’m gonna have a break from pizza tonight. I’m making an enchilada pile-up in the crock pot. I’ve been cooking quite a bit lateley, and enjoying it far more than is warranted! It’s called life without a life because your brother is the only person you know — but he happens to have a life, so you’re on your own, baby!

Go eat things,
Sarah

Weekend to end all weekends

The weekend to end all weekends is behind me. Not only was it Father’s Day weekend, but also, it was both the weekend of the 37th triennial WSVH Alumni reunion, and the weekend of Kristin’s high school graduation party! I was all over the place this weekend!

You can read the basics of the alumni bash at Caroline’s, so I won’t get too deeply into it. I will add, however, that by some strange turn of the wind, I was elected with two other people to represent WSVH Alumni on the Wisconsin Council of the Blind and Visually Impaired. As well, they voted me to serve on the board of alumni directors for the next 9 years. This was quite a surprise. I can’t say what it is that people know of me that would make them choose me over the Braille Note guy with the pages-long bio, for instance (who came in dead last in both races). I hope it’s not just my mom’s name (she’s been active in the blind community for years), but if it is, I’m looking forward to finding some sort of unique contributional outlet. And thanks to those of you who voted for me. Please expect to be asked lots and lots of questions about how this all works!

I had loads of fun this weekend! I thought I’d only be depressed meeting up with people who are either doing nothing with their post-grad lives or are so super-accomplished and fulfilled that I’d feel like a beggar in comparison. Well, there wasn’t time for either of those feelings. I was too busy practicing for the concert on Sunday or running errands for people, or practicing for the concert on Sunday, or sitting worshipfully outside the radio station while Dennis and Chris did their thing, or practicing for the memorial service when I finally found out the concert wasn’t my only gig on Sunday.

I stank in the concert on Sunday, btw.

Kristin’s grad party went well. We rented out Mocha Moment for the occasion. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I only know there was a lot of inter-mingling of people among each varied circle of Kristin’s acquaintances. It wasn’t quite as crowded as expected, which might have had something to do with the fact that it was pouring and the tornado sirens were going off for a while there. LOL [favorite line of the day: Laurie {as we get more comfortable on the leather couches} - "Hmmmmm. The radio just said 'Take shelter immediately.' That might indicate a serious situation."]

As for Father’s Day, I think we’re celebrating that later. We must be, because nothing was done for Dad!! And he’s the one who made this weekend (and many many others) so successful for the Heesen clan and all their undertakings. THE SHAME! THE INDECENCY! I have an idea about salvaging Father’s Day, but Dad reads this, so …